Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory they gave 100 men 12 pints of beer each, and observed that 100% of them started talking crap, and could no longer drive properly.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Jill, pack up your
things! I just won the National lottery!"
Jill responds excitedly,
"Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?!"
The man responds, "I don't care,
just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
Women know nothing about cars. "Oil-stick? Oil doesn't stick!"
Women NEVER have anything to wear. Don't attempt to point out the racks of clothes in the wardrobe, as "you just don't understand".
An ex-wife/bird is similar to an inflamed appendix.
It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn't need it anyway.
Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point, what was she doing out of the kitchen in the first place!?!
What does wife stand for?
Washing, Ironing, F**king Etc...
Why don't women ski?
Because there is no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen.
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